What is Lost Angeles? The answer is pretty simple. A city, especially one as falsely represented as Los Angeles, has a second city living underneath it. Deep in the corner of a dimly lit dive bar, at the bottom of a glass of Powers, there she is: Lost Angeles.
Not all of us can stomach living up to the Angelino stereotype. It doesn’t account for all the culture, chaos and comfort this city emits for us to bask in. Where is Lost Angeles? It’s everywhere. I am personally hell-bent on showing you what it looks like from my tired, wild eyes in hopes that you start looking at it too. It’s epic.
Let me tell you a bit about myself. This blog started on Facebook and gained a modest following of wild assholes. They convinced me to take it to the streets. I am. I am because I’m living just enough, just enough for the city.
So who am I? What an esoteric question made even worse by asking it to myself! Regardless, I am happy to answer that question with visuals to back it all up. So let’s meet our tour guide:
Everyone Should Try Out a Porn ‘Stache
In Lost Angeles you can dress however you want. You can be whoever you want. There are just certain things you don’t want to be. Ron Darlington is an alter ego that comes out every now and then, especially at swanky parties in Lake Arrowhead that get snowed in and there’s nowhere to run. That’s when Ron comes out and starts lighting Duraflame logs and drinking scotch. That’s as the French say, “when le magic happens.”
I am into Burning Groceries.
My girlfriend against my will made me start watching Food Network before we passed out every night. I don’t know if it was like Clockwork Orange or Brave New World, but I took to it. I have the KitchenAid Mixer. I got the Global knives. I have extensive knowledge on the temperature index of meat and the reason to opt for Spanish saffron over it’s Iranian brother (besides funding terrorism).
Cooking sounds too dainty for me, so I call it Burning Groceries. Girls love it when you Burn some Groceries. I’ll share what I am burning from time to time. You can get down in your kitchen. It’s a good way to eat well without paying Los Angeles your hard-earned Lost Angelino money.
I love the Dodgers more than you love your kids.
I have season tickets with my father, who is sometimes referred to in Lost Angeles as the Ultimate G. He and I could probably GM the team, which as ostentatious as it sounds, is probably the truth. Honestly, any time you want to step up to the plate and tell me I am off base, I love it. I literally want to slice it open and sew it into a sleeping back and spend eight hours a night wrapped up in it.
Right now I can’t function until I know Manny Ramirez will be back. I don’t care about the risks involved. If you knew what sitting in Chavez Ravine late in October watching him play felt like, you would want to see it again too.
I am a little special sometimes.
I think this one covers it. Remind me to tell you about Halloween in WeHo. That was last year. Here was the year before:
I am the guitarist in Fight From Above.
On Facebook there is some ambiguity as to if I am in this band or just shamelessly promoting them. The reality is both. But I don’t care about getting a record deal or living the dream. I am living the dream right now. We played the Troubadour in front of 250 people who all walked out with our new album “L.A. Kids”. These shows are a party where everyone is invited. There will be no bottle service or bullshit. Just some whiskey, some indie rock, good vibes and an afterparty filled with iPod mixtapes, cheap booze and good friends.
Actually, we’re playing the main stage at the House of Blues on Sunset this Friday with a U2 cover band. I know that sounds strange, but when you think about it, it’s gonna be a great night that ends up at an afterparty getting retarded and making new great friends from the SFV to Silverlake.
I believe in blogging.
I went to USC Film School. I have sold an option on a script. I’ve performed shows all over the US. I’ve been paid as a ghost writer. None of these things brings me more joy than Lost Angeles has or will. I love to share what I’m smellin’ and see what you are getting your noses into. That’s life. Hit me up on here. I would love to give you a high five or call you an asshole. The choice is yours, cabron.
So enough about me. This is about Lost Angeles and all she has to offer. I will start bringing some of my older blogs from Facebook here so we have them, but this is mostly about moving forward.
So grab you guns and your switchblade knives and cut it up. 2009 is gonna be our year. Don’t you think so?
Right on. I knew you wouldn’t let me down.