Pig Destroyer Murders Hollywood.

Left work.  Stopped by Ca De Sole to see my brother and father briefly.  Lost track of time a bit.  Miner tells me we’re late.  We have a show to play with Pig Destroyer.  Sort of.  We’re playing the side room of Knitting Factory to help out our booking agent.  Pig Destroyer is played the main stage.  Read their myspace.  Chuckle.

Grab our gear at the lockout.  Head over the hill.  Orange is barricaded off at Hollywood for no apparent reason.  Nearby security guards have never heard of Knitting Factory.  Pretty wild since we can see it from where we’re flipping a bitch.  The guy tells us we can park here but not to forget to validate.  I start to think this security guard is either a moron or fucking with us.  We peace.

There is a line around the block for Pig Destroyer.  Literally around the block.  It’s an odd caravan of kids not sure if they are copying the Ramones or Slipknot.  It’s like Hot Topic of 1999 and Hot Topic of 2006 collided and these kids picked up what didn’t burn in the fire.  Still, the joint was packed.  It could explode into a cigarette smoking contest at any time.

I felt familiar nerves like back when I was in my high school pop punk band.  Every now and then we’d get paired with a Pennywise type band because to a promoter, we were all punk.  But there is a big difference between PW’s “fuck authority” punk and our “penis joke” punk.  One show in Ventura at a church in 1997, Dave and I made the executive decision just to switch chords at breakneck speed while he played the angriest, fastest punk beat ever.  We sold a bunch of albums that night and promptly drove South down the 101 never to return.  Eventually they’d hear our CD and come out for blood.  It was to this date the craziest mosh pit I’d ever been a part of.

I get confused at the parking garage when the attendant appears to speak strong English but apparently doesn’t understand it.  It was kind of like this:

"How are you?  Twelve dollars."

"Hey, we're playing at the club.  Do you know where the freight elevator is?"
"How are you?"
"We're in a band.  We need to load the gear."
"Twelve dollars.  You park in here."
"Even if we're playing?"
"You can get a ticket for twelve dollars."
"No.  I mean.  Fuck it." [hands man twelve dollars]

The parking garage is strange.  It seems to go down into the earth forever.  The ceiling has strange shakes and violent lunges.  The asbestos dust falls from time to time.  We have to carry all our shit because this place doesn’t have a backline.  We have to carry all 1000 pounds of it in several trips up the stairs or to an elevator.  We decide to sluice a shopping cart from the nearby supermarket and use it to our advantage.

sluice doggy dog.

sluice doggy dog.

Our booking agent’s rep gets us wristbands, we load, we play, we try to pack up.  Favor accomplished.  Someone in Pig Destroyer has puked all over the floor in the back.  The place is cleared out by 11:30.  That’s strange.  It had been quite a scene before.

Talked about bands with Matt Miller for a while.  Good times.  Excited to check out his band Graydon at Hotel Cafe next Friday.  We discuss how I am not good at guitar.  Miner bails me out by explaining I am a master at finding the most essential three notes and inserting them where it counts.  That’s what she said.

I am glad he feels that way.  Otherwise, I was going to quit the band and start one with his evil twin from a parallel galaxy:  Justin Riner.

you hear the new justin riner album?  way doper than the current justin miner album.

you hear the new justin riner album? way doper than the current justin miner album.

Went home and read about Pig Destroyer.  I like their attitude of working day jobs and just playing what they want and doing what they want.  Having a loyal fan base.  Not touring for months and months just to break even.  They even got written up as best indie metal album of 2007 by what I’m told is a respectable metal zine.

All that being said, this is their picture.  I probably would not fuck with them:

i guess the black t-shirt memo made it to press.

i guess the black t-shirt memo made it to press.

Their record label’s page describes them as: “Virginia’s extreme sound nihilists PIG DESTROYER deliver savage grindcore that is both intentionally confrontational and thoroughly pummeling.”

I don’t know what that means but I liked Big Lebowski and want to be a sound nihilist.  Here’s more quotage:

” The band started drawing inspiration from all that was around them and, like Dr. Frankenstein and his monster, all of the elements came together like a stroke of genius mixed with equal parts madness, birthing ‘Phantom Limb’.”

I wonder if anyone credits us with “birthing” L.A. Kids.  I think we drank too much Seagrams and booted it.

Okay, some more quotes from a world I am just not allowed access to for a lot of different reasons.  Literally, with all do respect, some of the best sentences ever assembled:

“PIG DESTROYER’s vicious attack set out to envelop the listener in a cocoon of grisly nihilism.”

“With it, PIG DESTROYER boil metal down to its muscle, sinew, and bone – razor-sharp guitar, percussive pummeling, and a lone, stark howl – and use them to commit a vicious assault. The lyrics paint loathsome, frightening images of pitch-black self-hatred and the frailty of the human experience. With ‘Phantom Limb’, PIG DESTROYER provides a musical manifestation of the violent experience of the human animal, and cements their already legendary status.”

“Relapse signed the band and issued a PIG DESTROYER / ISIS split 7” (PIG DESTROYER covered the CARCASS classics “Genital Grinder” and “Regurgitation Of Giblets”) as part of the label’s ‘Singles Series’ in July 2000.”

Dude.  I need to get way more hardcore to understand this.  Summer project?


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