Kevin Garnett is Hurt. And Lame.

I really want to like Kevin Garnett.  He plays defense.  He looks pretty intimidating.  But the thing is, every time I want to like him, he just goes super-douchy on us all.  Like I mentioned in a previous post, the one nugget I hoped I could take from the Finals (and dip it in some sweet and sour sauce) was to feel a little unselfish joy for a guy who stuck it out in Minnesota for the bulk of his career.  Only the minute he wins he starts crying like the Prom Queen and screaming “anything is possible” in his best Kevin Costner impersonation.  Tool box.  Yes, Kevin.  Anything is possible.  Even a millionaire NBA All-Star finally winning a title on a team of other NBA millionaire stars who had never won anything either.  Talented rich people getting what they want.  ANYTHING is possible, Kevin, you tuna salad sandwich.  Anything is possible.  Even a guy faking an injury and then coming back two minutes later.  His ACL must have snapped and then regenerated.  Anything is possible.  Right, KG?

my knee hurts.

my knee hurts.

Well, it came as no shock to this blogger to find out KG’s swollen knees are preventing him from getting back on the court again.  I just don’t buy it.  In my mind, Celtics really dig the emotion.  There was Glen Davis earning his nickname “Big Baby” when he cried on national television after a scolding by KG.  There was, of course, the Paul Pierce embarrassment.  Now, it’s KG and his “sore” knee.  It’s playoff time and to me, this seems like a dude who is out of gas and trying to save it for another run.  That’s totally cool, but let’s stop with the calling it an “injury”.  What the heck is a sore or swollen body part.  These guys are athletes, they are always swollen or sore.  This is just PR.  Just come out and say we’re letting him recharge because he is getting old.

Before you think I am crazy, Boston loves doing this.  Back when the word on the street was Greg Oden was going to play legit in the NBA (although he gets injured enough to be a Celtic), the Celtics basically started tanking games.  Part of that tanking was Paul Pierce sitting out extended games for a “swollen elbow”.

Doc Rivers even went so far that year as to let his reserves blow an 18 point lead without putting his starters back in.  Rivers literally said:  “I was not throwing the game, or anything like that.  Honestly, I got to the point early in the fourth quarter and I turned to the coaches and said to them, ‘We are either going to win or lose with this group.’ ”

touch them.  they totally feel like they are real.

touch them. they totally feel like they are real.

In case you don’t speak bullshit or Boston apologist, that is code for:  we tanked it.  Just like they did in 1997 to try to get Tim Duncan.  They got Chauncy Billups, then gave up on him and traded him halfway into the season.  That’s the road that led to Rajon “Rollerskates” Rondo.  Tight.

Anyway, KG is joining a proud legacy of swollen BS in Beantown.  Here’s wishing him a speedy recovery and a big role in the upcoming spanking King James and his Cavs are in pre-production on.  KG wants to be back for a few games of the regular season.

Hey.  Anything is possible.

kg minnesota timberwolves desktop wallpaper.

kg minnesota timberwolves desktop wallpaper.



Filed under boston sucks

7 responses to “Kevin Garnett is Hurt. And Lame.

  1. Jay Gray 3

    I see you Zack!! I totally agree with you 100%. I couldn’t stand Pierce’s lame ass Willis Reed impression. And I am a Pierce fan because he is from Inglewood and I loved him when he went to Kansas. But you hit the nail on the head with this 1. Damn KG……smh

    • stephen

      yeah but when people from LA rip on kg it sounds like bitterness, a man struggles his whole career and finally wins a championship, ask charles barkley if he thought the celebration was over the top. Pierce may not have been seriously injured but faking an injury in the finals just to come back and dump on the lakers doesn’t make a lot of sense besides the fact Pierce knew the C’s were gonna stomp out the lakers in 6 so he wanted to make it more exciting. Bo$ton baby decade of dominance.

  2. Sean

    It absolutely pains me to agree with you. I loved (LOVED) Kevin Garnett when he was in Minnesota. All he did was work hard and play d, put up 22pts 12 boards a night, surrounded by superior talent like Marcus Blunt, all the while enduring Kevin McHale’s bullshit and owner Glen Taylor’s cowardice. Dude hung out in the city gyms, gave out turkeys on Thanksgiving like Frank Lucas. Dude was the Minneapolis Gangster. But sadly, Boston has changed a man, and not for the better. I used to dig a place with such a passion for hockey and all things Irish, but this Paul Pierce shit is bush league.

  3. Seth

    As a die-hard Celtic fan living in LA, I must laugh. Let’s say for argument’s sake that Paul Pierce and KG both “fake injuries”. Pierce came back and Lakers couldn’t stop him. And banner #17 went up. Garnett is in his 14th season. Is it so unbelievable to think that after 1,055 games, his knees are getting the best of him? But again… he’ll be back and the Lakers can again try and stop him. I guess the Lakers are too good to “fake injuries”. Only thing I see being faked by the Lakers is consensual sex (allegedly).

    Love the blog… keep it going.

    • Zack

      thanks seth,

      i am the first to give beantown props for the 17 titles and you are correct, pierce was unstoppable. that still doesn’t change the fact that he cried like his leg snapped, cried in a wheel chair re-enacting the “fuck its my knee” scene from “the program” with james caan, only to get up all of two minutes later, sprint out in full dramatics and play like nothing happened. he either faked it or has the worst pain tolerance ever. either way, props to him for winning. same time, what a tool. i expect more out of inglewood, where you know that it’s all good.

      i bet his knees are getting the best of him, but don’t call it an injury. call it what it is. hoping there is enough gas in the tank to stop king james. not convinced, but hey, they are the champs. we’ll see. if the celtics don’t win this year, it won’t happen again for a while. this title will either be a lost year in the decade of the lakers and spurs (kinda like the miami heat) or it will be the title before the King James era began. For me, this is Boston’s do or die season. I’ll be watching. Thanks for reading man and I appreciate the comments.

      PS. Kobe is only guilty of not being able to keep it in his pants.

  4. Atown23

    you are a stupid prick, kg is and always will be one of the best power forwards to ever play, he is clearly hurt considering he sat out this years playoffs, an athlete like him would not let his team down and not play if he wasn’t injured, and so what if he cried when he got the title, so did the greatest michael jordan, its a great achivment to win that let alone being one of the stars who made it happen

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