After the Lakers took care of business in their game seven match up with the Houston Rockets, I sat down to nurse a two day hangover at the Chateau Lost Angeles and prepare to play guitar later in the evening. The Boston Celtics were about to play their own Game Seven with the Orlando Magic. I was feeling pretty good, except for the hangover. The Dodgers had won two series’ on the road, one against the Philadouchia Phillies (where I come from a Filly is a female horse). Clayton “The Kid” Kershaw almost threw a no hitter. Juan Pierre has clearly started taking the steroids confiscated from Manny Ramirez. Life in LA-LA land was awesome on this Sunday (except for the hangover).
That is until the Celtics pre-game came on. My girlfriend was sitting on the couch watching along with me. She saw Paul Pierce and Rajon Rondo and Fat Baby doing their choreographed pre-game celebration. She asked me what the hell they were doing. I was hard pressed for a response. Amazing to me, an Angelino, to hear Boston fans critique the Lakers for being “all Hollywood and shit”. Let me say it and let me say in clearly:
The Boston Celtics have become a Broadway show with shitty music.
During the initial pre-game celebration, I enjoyed scenes including “playin’ dice” and “looking super douchy”. My girlfriend is well versed in baseball high-five giving, the pregame jumping around circle, even the running through a lineup of cheerleaders move. But the Celtics had gone too far this time. I wasn’t sure if this was the prelude to a basketball game, or if they were taking on the Magic in a dance competition. I thought this was “You Got Served” Volume Douche. I dreaded another game of KG looking like a punk talking trash in a business suit. He’s no better than Mark Cuban.
What made this even better, was following this elaborate dance party with a video starring Kevin Garnett screaming (maybe he’s pissed his career is over) and some killer copy reading, “There are Game 7s. And then there are Game 7s in Boston.”
Apparently, Game 7s in Boston are when the home team dances for twenty minutes then gets blown of their home court by a team from Orlando starring the white guy from Duke. The Celtics looked like a garbage sandwich.
I was so excited they lost. I had gotten so tired of their theatrics. From Paul Pierce’s flopping and injury faking (during the Greg Oden lottery days, not just during the 2008 Finals), to all the KG macho pre-knee-explosion bullshit, to Doc Rivers acting like amateur-hour when the Celtics overweight center Fat Baby knocked down a jumper. This is a team acting like they are not world champs. They are acting like they were lucky to be there. They are acting like the kid you made fun of in high school for taking shit too seriously.
Good news, world. The Celtics, the Red Sox, the Patriots… None are defending World Champs anymore. Boston, it would seem has retreated back to being what it is: a small market city benefiting greatly from its geographic proximity to New York and the awesomeness of music by the Dropkick Murphys (can’t argue that part, they are pretty awesome).
Too much is made by Boston fans about LA’s “weak” fan base. The thing is, it is a clear choice. LA fans are loyal and they are laid-back. Dodger fans are late to arrive, and in many cases, early to leave. But they keep the Dodgers in the top 3 of attendance every year. They cheer their team. They enjoy the experience. Boston fans are the opposite. These are the same fans that ignored the Celtics through their down years until they bought their success with KG. They are the same fans that will laugh about Manny getting busted, but ignore that their titles are equally tainted.
It’s just a matter of preference. Dodger fans are sad about Manny, but they will welcome him back once he’s served his time. That’s how this country works. He doesn’t need to burn forever. He is serving time. Crime and punishment.
The Celtics have committed the crime of not acting like they had been there before, which is strange, as they have been there before many, many times. KG will never be the same, but he’s on the payroll for a few more years eating salary. Ray Allen and Paul Pierce are older. If you don’t believe me, just re-watch the game from Sunday. It was a bunch of old guys too old to let the adrenaline kick in. There was zero defense at any point.
In the dark days after Shaq left and the Lakers missed the playoffs, the stadium was filled. Maybe it is better to just love your team either way. It is okay to expect greatness, but it is not only about that.
The Lakers move on. The Dodgers own the league’s best record and the top spot in ESPN’s Power Rankings. We’ll keep going about our business hoping for the best, but in the end, we’re all Lakers. We’re all Dodgers.
Hope it was fun while it lasted, Boston. Moreso, I hope you still enjoy it when you aren’t on top. The rest of the world keeps turning even when Boston loses. It couldn’t have happened to a nicer bunch of dancers…er. Ballers.