Some people like a good tussle. They like to shake things up and see what happens. Some people don’t care what happens, they just love the attention. These are what we like to call “drama queens”.
J.P. Ricciardi is a drama queen.
For all the ladies and baseball haters out there, J.P. Ricciardi is the general manager of the Toronto Blue Jays. The Jays are the Canadian team in the majors that lives under the collective rear ends of the Red Sox, Yankees and most recently, Tampa Bay Rays.
J.P. Ricciardi right now is the center of the universe because he holds the deed to baseball’s most sought-after pitcher and the trade deadline is fast approaching. He is the center of the universe and it is giving him what appears to be almost erotic pleasure.
I guess I get it. When you are a GM in Toronto, you are probably used to nobody caring. We are all humans (except for the other animals that aren’t) and humans need attention like plants need sunlight. Not much sun up in that great white north where the Blue Jays play.
So first some quick backstory on J.P. Ricciardi. You need this just to get a taste of what kind of loose cannon, Will Ferrell in Zoolander we are dealing with. At one point last year, he’s on a radio show and a caller suggests they pick up Adam Dunn, then on the Reds. Adam Dunn (who ironically looks like Will Ferrell) is a guy who hits a lot of home runs, but the downside is he strikes out more than a butcher at a hot Vegan chicks convention. When the caller inquires about Mr. Ricciardi entertaining a trade with the Reds, right out of the blue, here’s what he says (my thoughts in red, as usual):
“Do you know the guy doesn’t really like baseball that much?” Ricciardi said to the caller. “Do you know the guy doesn’t have a passion to play the game that much? How much do you know about the player?
“Did you hear Susie likes Devon?” Really, J.P.? The guy didn’t call to ask if Dunn liked his job. He called to ask if you could help his favorite team not suck so much. This is the team you run by the way.
“There’s a reason why you’re attracted to some players and there’s a reason why you’re not attracted to some players. I don’t think you’d be very happy if we brought Adam Dunn here …
Is it just me or is it awkward that he used the word “attracted” when describing trades. The caller is the hot girl. She’s in love with the hot guy, Adam Dunn (only in this awkward analogy). That makes J.P. the ugly best guy friend who instead of selling himself (explaining what he intends to do with his position of power), just takes a dump on the hot guy so the hot girl doesn’t want him less. Don’t you watch 80s movies, J.P.? The hot girl ends up with the hot guy and the friend either ends up alone or with a girl who is nowhere near his expectations.
“We’ve done our homework on guys like Adam Dunn and there’s a reason why we don’t want Adam Dunn. I don’t want to get into specifics.”
Translation: Adam Dunn was mean to me at a cocktail party.
Now Adam Dunn found out and was like, WTF just happened here? I don’t know this guy and now he is calling me out on the radio? I personally don’t like Dunn’s game, but he’s done the same thing every year. This is what he does. Who cares if he loves the game or hates it. You know exactly what you are getting. You don’t have to be a tuna about it J.P. The way he talks sounds like his roommates Tivo’d over his So You Think You Can Dance episode and now he is so-effin-pissed. Seriously.
So, that is J.P. Ricciardi in a nut shell. So what happens when this man, normally confined to the Canadian wilderness, becomes the center of the baseball universe? You get the most amateur updates of all time via ESPN and the sporting powers that be.
Remember the Manny updates last summer? I am calling this Ricciardi Gate (because people like Ricciardi and the media as a whole think it is clever to put Gate after situations as some sort of holler-at-your-boy Nixonian mechanism). I am so sure you will see what a drama queen Ricciardi is, I will just post some of my favorite updates on the wonderful baseball site MLBtraderumors.com. I am confident you will see that drama queens should not run baseball teams:
in chronological order:
- Blue Jays GM J.P. Ricciardi told Joel Sherman of the New York Post that he won’t provide teams with a window to negotiate a contract extension with Roy Halladay in the event that the Jays deal their ace.
- SI.com’s Jon Heyman hears that the Blue Jays could keep Roy Halladay, especially since Toronto fans would not be receptive to a deal that sends their ace elsewhere. If the Jays do deal Halladay, they say they’re looking for two premium prospects who will be ready for the majors next year and two other prospects who are further away from making big league contributions.
- Last week Ricciardi told Cafardo that he doesn’t expect to make a deal for Halladay.
- A rival GM says J.P. Ricciardi “won’t trade Halladay unless he gets the deal he wants,” Morosi hears. “But he wants to get a deal.”
- A friend of Halladay’s tells Jon Heyman of SI.com that Doc’s top priority is winning, but the righty would apparently prefer a quiet environment and a team that trains in Florida.
- Jays GM J.P. Ricciardi told Brown that some of the teams talking to the Jays have enough to acquire Halladay, but may be reluctant to give up their talent.
- Ricciardi told Bob Elliott of the Toronto Sun that “it’s unlikely Halladay will be dealt.”
- Tracy Ringolsby of FOXSports suggests the Blue Jays have to consider trading Halladay because Ricciardi hasn’t committed money to the right players.
- Sportsnet.ca has a clip of Ricciardi saying a deal is unlikely.
- the Jays have imposed a pre-deadline of July 28th on the negotiations and GM J.P. Ricciardi says a trade is becoming “unlikely.”
- Ricciardi told ESPN.com’s Jayson Stark that talks are expected to intensify early next week. The Blue Jays haven’t exchanged names with interested teams yet, but Ricciardi expects to tell teams what he’s looking for by Monday.
- That wouldn’t leave much time before Tuesday’s self-imposed deadline, but Ricciardi said it’s a soft deadline.
- Ricciardi says four teams are “really, really serious” about Halladay. The Phillies are believed to be one of his top suitors and Ricciardi confirmed that the Jays will scout Kyle Drabek‘s upcoming start.
- GM J.P. Ricciardi expects to exchange names with interested teams early next week; the Blue Jays would consider dealing after their self-imposed deadline of July 28th
- J.P. Ricciardi told ESPN Radio he still doesn’t expect to trade Roy Halladay.
- Ricciardi says he’s exploring deals in part because Halladay wants to test the free agent market after his deal expires next season. Some teams are serious about Halladay; others are delirious, Ricciardi said.
- Ricciardi told The Canadian Press that talks have become “a little bit more heated up.” He believes some teams are trying to make preliminary moves to acquire Halladay.
- Ricciardi told Mike Rutsey of the Toronto Sun that the Blue Jays won’t pay any of Halladay’s salary if they trade him.
- Ricciardi told Jim Salisbury of the Philadelphia Inquirer that he’s in the midst of serious discussions with four teams, all of which have the talent to acquire Halladay.
- Ricciardi told Jordan Bastian that Halladay has provided him with a list of teams to which he would approve a deal.
- Ricciardi told The Globe and Mail that Halladay has not given the Blue Jays a list of teams. Instead, the Jays have run teams by Halladay to determine his interest in joining them.
- Talks might be heating up. Jon Heyman at SI says “there’s no way he stays” with the Blue Jays, as discussions with the Phils have become “intense.” FOXSports.com’s Ken Rosenthal just heard from Ricciardi that the chances of Halladay leaving Toronto at this point are “very slim.” Here’s more from the general manager: “We’ve said that we would listen, but that we would have to be motivated and ‘wowed. Right now we haven’t been. I’ve said all along my gut tells me I won’t be. I still stand by that.””If we get to the last week,” Ricciardi added, “and haven’t really made any progress with anybody, I’m not going to say it’s 100 percent certain, but I would have to pretty much think it’s not going to get done.“
- [Halladay is] scheduled to pitch on Wednesday, but whether he makes that start is up in the air. Toronto general manager J.P. Ricciardi said last week he wants Halladay assured of his future when he takes the hill for that outing — in other words, if Halladay does pitch on Wednesday, supposedly, he won’t be traded before the deadline.
This goes on and on forever. I think you get the point. This guy just loves to talk about nothing, which feeds the sports media, which LOVES to talk about nothing. I honestly don’t even want Halladay anymore because I can’t stand the thought of having to negotiating with J.P. Amateur Hour over there.
Let’s throw some cash at Cliff Lee or Jarrod Washburn and get on with the campaign.