Hate Mail from Whiskey Snob.

Posted a review of Templeton Rye in my own style.  I made a point to say I am not a connoisseur or critic.  Still, someone out there was insecure enough to need to flex his nuts.  My AP English teachers weren’t this stuck up.  Neither were my professors at USC Film School in the writing department.  Here’s his post unedited:

No offense, your review style could use a little work.
Some compare and contrast would be good, for example, how does this compare with any of the other Rye whiskeys available on the market? Example: is this something for the Old Overholt or the Rittenhouse drinker would like? Why?

Instead you called it “smooth” and compared it favorably to a Japanese, Barley-based whiskey in the Scottish style! And even then could not qualify important differences.

Review how ever you want, but know: As a whiskey drinker, and bartender, I am left after reading your blog with absolutely no idea what this tastes like, if I would like it at all, and if it is worth hunting down.

And now, as usual, my annotations in red.

No offense, your review style could use a little work.  I hate when people say ‘no offense’ then proceed to try and offend you.  What would this person think if I said ‘no offense, but I don’t read comments from men with female anatomy?’  Of course, I’d never say something like that.  Oh.  Shit.  No offense.


Some compare and contrast would be good, for example, how does this compare with any of the other Rye whiskeys available on the market? Example: is this something for the Old Overholt or the Rittenhouse drinker would like? Why?  Name-dropping is for insecure people.  I’ve had Rittenhouse.  Never tried Old Overholt.  Why is it I am comfortable knowing what I like and not worrying about being an expert?  Because I know one thing. If I drank half a bottle of Old Overholt I’d be ready to fight a bear naked in the streets, saw its head off with my laser vision, stuff it, mount it above your fireplace and steal your Thanksgiving leftovers.

Instead you called it “smooth” and compared it favorably to a Japanese, Barley-based whiskey in the Scottish style!  The horror! And even then could not qualify important differences.  Is there anything more arrogant than when this guy just wrote “smooth” in quotations.  Let me thank him for trying to “enlighten” me on how to have an inferiority complex.

Review how ever you want I plan to, but know: As a whiskey drinker snob, and bartender elitist, I am left after reading your blog with absolutely no idea what this tastes like but I thought you already knew everything?, if I would like it at all, and if it is worth hunting down.

I don’t think my goal was to enlighten people who claim to be experts in this field.  I speak for the everyday urban cowboy just trying to warm their belly and work up the will to bring home an attractive girl who loves baseball.

In fairness, this guy probably just wandered onto the blog hoping to get some epicurean rant on Templeton Rye and instead got me, Los Angeles’ premiere whiskey punk.  The poor sap didn’t think about who my audience was and just felt like flexing his nuts for whatever reason.  Perhaps I should just let bygones be bygones.  I don’t know, I’d still have a drink with the guy (but he’s buying as I am sure whatever I ordered wouldn’t be up to snuff).

In the end, I’ll close by saying listen man, it’s not your fault she left.  Maybe it wasn’t one thing.  Maybe it was a bunch of little things that added up.  Maybe she just wanted something new.  Women are fickle and you want someone who loves you for you.  Don’t waste time trying to figure out why she packed up.  Just move forward.  In the end, you will find happiness someday.  There’s a girl out there for everyone.

7 Comments

Filed under Hate Mail

7 responses to “Hate Mail from Whiskey Snob.

  1. Thanks for telling it like it is.. in true Lost Angeles style.

    Always a good read.

  2. jKim

    I was waiting for this as soon as I saw the comment…

  3. Pingback: Tweets that mention Hate Mail from Whiskey Snob. « Lost Angeles -- Topsy.com

  4. Just want to say your article is striking. The clarity in your post is simply striking and i can take for granted you are an expert on this subject. Well with your permission allow me to grab your rss feed to keep up to date with forthcoming post. Thanks a million and please keep up the ac complished work. Excuse my poor English. English is not my mother tongue.

  5. How DARE you compare Templeton Rye to a Japanese whiskey?

    *pukes in digust*

    Nah, great post. We have a similar dislike of the snobbishness inherent in the liquor community.

  6. Alex

    Ugh, I hate snobs! This guy is such a douche. I’m glad you set him straight. Good work, my friend.

  7. Tom

    I agree with the whiskey snob. Your review was just a fluff piece about the Templeton fable.

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