Take Shaun White out of it. The guy is Ginger Jordan. Or Kobe Ginger. Or LeBron Ginger. His victory lap ended up being a coronation. He beat his own gold medal worthy first run to cement himself again as legend. I am not even going to talk about the Double McTwist 1260. I mean, wow.
Shaun aside, the Olympics were awkward last night in a big way. First there was the Lindsay Vonn/Julia Mancuso post game interview. Honestly, these two girls hate each other and are having a really hard time dealing with it. I feel like if I am Julia Mancuso, a former gold medalist and current silver medalist, I am totally grateful to be on the stand with another American. I mean, nothing left to prove for her. Same time, Vonn finally put the feather in her cap with a gold medal, but she can’t even make eye contact with the woman she beat. It was so awkward. Nothing BAD happened per say, but it was just that feeling you get when the ex-girlfriend comes in the room and starts telling old stories nobody wants to hear.
Then came Stephen Colbert and Bob Costas. While Bob is a professional, it works against him when he has to be funny. I have always been torn when I look at Bob Costas. On the one hand, I appreciate his polish, his poise and his presence at big sporting events. He asks hardball questions. He’s also looked the same age for 40 years. That’s impressive. He’s like Benjamin Button.
On the other hand, these feelings of admiration are mixed with an almost mammalian desire to see if I could punt him over ten yards. I hope one day I become big media just so he can ask me about this quote and try to put the pinch on me. The good news is, I know how to handle it thanks to Stephen Colbert, who brought the pain last night.
Colbert takes Costas through an awkward five minutes. You felt like NBC was just like, do whatever you need to do Bob. Bob was like, this is my show. This is the Costalympics in Canada. Colbert claims NBC made up the Vonn injury. He draws Costas into his comedic world and watches him struggle to swim. How does he cap it off? As Costas is trying to wrap it up, Colbert climbs INTO the ridiculous gaudy fireplace. I had been commenting on how silly the flat screen television in a fireplace looked, but I didn’t have access to do what Colbert did. What a G.
Costas broke into the most awkward and frightening laugh we’ve ever heard. It was the laugh of a man who hasn’t seen anything buckwild in a long time. I hope it was good for him.
Then audiences get treated to the late night regime with Mary Carillo. Is there anyone in the world you would like to listen to less than this person? Do me a favor, take your awkward-repellent and just watch this clip. Sit through the whole thing.
This person gets paid six-figures to be on television. What the fuck was that whole thing? Seriously. She is the HOST of the late night program on NBC. Good work guys. After Coco and Leno, you are tearing it up with this coverage.
Not even Shaun White will save you.