The other night after a pitcher of really strong sangria, a lion’s share of carnitas, two margaritas and one Ray’s Mistake at Tiki Ti, the idea sprung upon our group that we needed to watch The Lion King immediately. In my life, I live for these kind of immediate missions. Suddenly, after not seeing something for years, it becomes of dire importance that you are immediately transported to the magical animated plains of Africa.
Blockbuster did not have the film, which lead us to learn all about the Disney Vault, which is the process in which Disney un-releases its films and the releases them again. It’s like when you say “I won’t eat anymore fish tacos for three months” and then you get wasted three months later, eat a fish taco and freak out at how much you missed fish tacos. That said, I have never given up anything except smoking cigarettes, which was mainly so I could live longer and give up less things. Like fish tacos.
Luckily, we were with a genius of online pirating and he was able to find The Lion King, burn it and get it on television just in time. Here we were, watching a magical land of animals in the middle of the night under the influence of Mexican food and the good drink. I was totally blown away. This movie was insane.
First of all, they really went heavy when they killed Mufasa. That was some serious shit right there and I totally did not remember how insane it was. How insane was it? Immediately afterwards they had to sing Hakuna Matata. That is how happy they needed to go to stop kids from crying hysterically for an hour.
Also, the beginning of the movie was crazy hard. All the animals are joining up to get a look at Simba, the gangster lion who is going to eat all of them in a few short years and the crazy ass monkey just lifts him out like the Stanley Cup and then there is this big drum smack and THE LION KING comes up on a black background. Dude. I wanted to beat someone up. I wanted to hit someone. It was the ultimate pump up and I wasn’t expecting it at all.
I really wish I had more to tell you all today, but the truth is, I just want to watch Lion King again now, instead of watching the Bachelorette. But don’t worry. You get your recap in the morning…