Hard Knocks Week Three Recap.

This week was all about Mike Westhoff, the Jets special teams coach who got a new metal leg after surviving cancer.  After seeing him in action, it is clear cancer never stood a chance.  This guy is so bad ass.  When a wide out named Clowney was not getting it done, Westhoff told him he’d “cut him on the field” which was awesome.  Then he told him he was playing like he had the “triple fucking Asian flu” which was hilarious.  And maybe racist.  Then he said rookie Brashton Satele should just “open a pizza place in the Bronx” and get it over with already.  I am pretty sure he thinks the kid is Italian and I am pretty sure he is Hawaiian so again, pretty sure that is racist.  But when you survive cancer and have a metal leg, you can probably just let it rip.

This was the hazing episode basically.  Rookie Brian Jackson mouthed off too many times and got “baptized” into the NFL by being hogtied to the goalpost and doused with Icy Hot, Gatorade, talcum powder and more Gatorade.  It was all in good fun, except when a kid drowns in Gatorade in NorCal when his team re-enacts the whole scene.  Looking forward to that…

We got Rex Ryan running on a treadmill, which was funny because fat people on treadmills are funny.  We also got Braylon Edwards’ beard, which is also awesome.

During the game, we got the former Trojan Chauncey Washington banging and running for hard yardage, and he probably snuck onto the team over 5’7″ pocket Hercules Danny Woodhead.  The funnies thing I heard was when fullback Jason Davis said “If he had played in the 50’s, he’d have been a Hall of Famer. We’d say LT runs just like Danny Woodhead.”  That is hilarious.  It’s so true.  We keep talking about fucking Y.A. Tittle.  Davis nailed it.

I don’t want to get into the poor bastard who tore his Achilles or the punter who got cut.  The sad parts of this show are getting more and more unnecessary.  I just want to see Rex Ryan eat things.  Like a a pastrami sandwich INSIDE a Carl’s Jr. 6 Dollar Burger (credit to Dave, the biggest Jets fan there is).

Sanchez was a garbage sandwich this episode.  He played poorly.  He acted poorly.  I will say I was glad he continued to wear his Taco Bell hat.  Good work Pepsi.  Subtle.  Maybe give him a Taco Bell sombrero and make him sing Guantanamera next time.  Yeesh.

1 Comment

Filed under Rants and Musings

One response to “Hard Knocks Week Three Recap.

  1. Storefront Jenius

    It was all in good fun, except when a kid drowns in Gatorade in NorCal when his team re-enacts the whole scene. Looking forward to that…

    LOLLOLOLOL

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