Today we get a complicated question from an Arrogant National who is probably very good looking and smart and good at sports. This reader comes from Texas, and worse, a family of Texas Exes (that’s what they call alumni there apparently). She ran into VY outside a restaurant and wants to know if she handled it right. Check it out while I sharpen my bear saber.
Tonight, my family and I ran into Vince Young outside of a restaurant in Houston, Texas, where I live. Both my dad and brother went to Texas, so they fawned over him, naturally. After all, scoring a touchdown in the last 19 seconds of the game to beat the #1 ranked team was pretty arrogant. (I figured I can say that since A. I picked USC over Texas even though my entire extended family went to Texas and there is a building there named after my great-grandfather, B. Not qualifying for a bowl game WITHOUT being sanctioned this year is incredibly un-arrogant of Texas and C. The only redeemingly arrogant quality about UT football this year, Will Muschamp, is going to Florida). Anyways, when I met him, I was very polite, shook his hand, told him I was a big fan, and then slipped in that I went to USC, which at the time, I thought and hoped was pretty arrogant. What would you have done in a situation like this? Was my response sufficiently arrogant, yet respectful of Vince Young’
s own general aura of arrogance? On that note, what should one do in any similar situation when meeting someone who may have done something commendably arrogant, but in contradiction to the arrogance of Arrogant Nation?
Proud Trojan Among Longhorns
This was very brave of you as I typically blast music and wearing a blindfold when my airplane crosses over Texas. As much as I love Austin, I am always aware of my surroundings wondering if Mack Brown will show up and start begging for Texas to get preferential treatment (like that Rose Bowl he stole from Cal). For me, the only kind of preferential treatment I enjoy is being sanctioned. It’s arrogant that we don’t have to play a bowl game even though we qualified. I like being the bad boy of the league. This year, Texas was just bad. I did learn that Mack Brown does not beg to go to the Preparation H Colon Bowl in a year where they mathematically didn’t qualify for a game, so at least he saves it for when it counts.
To answer your question, the only error was stating that you were a big fan. I assume you are not, even if you have a healthy respect for his incredible arrogance in refusing to be tackled that fateful Rose Bowl game. That said, remember that Vince Young had one of the all-time low Wonderlic scores upon entering the NFL draft. For those of you not down with the Wonderlic (which 2011 Heisman Winner Matt Barkley has already aced while waiting for his rotisserie bear to finish on the spit), it’s a test given to prospective employees to test their cognitive ability. Out of a possible 50, Vince Young got a 6 on his first attempt. The national average for a warehouse worker is a 14. Michael Vick scored a 20 and look at his decision making ability. A six? I don’t even understand that. Dan Marino had a 16 (which VY got on his second attempt) and if you saw him act in Ace Ventura, you’d know he was dumber than a rock.
So what’s the point? The point is you don’t have to be nice or mean or arrogant around Vince Young should you meet him again. With a 6 on the Wonderlic test, I am not convinced he knew what “USC” was when you mentioned that you went there.
So, my arrogant ruling on the matter is quite simple. Since Vince Young is so cognitively challenged (basically he’s Dan Marino on a good day. yiiiikes.), it doesn’t matter what you say to him. My only advice would be to decline his offer of playing him in the Rose Bowl. For whatever reason, he’s Stephen fucking Hawking there.