Scott Wolf vomited on the internet, like he does almost daily, with a rumor that USC was planning to wear black jerseys against UCLA this year. From the backlash I have heard amongst my Twitter army, most think this is a ridiculous and dry-heave inducing idea. For it’s supporters, those who would say the modern recruit wants to wear jacked up jerseys that throw tradition to the wind, I am here to talk you out of being so short-sighted.
First of all, it is not going to happen. Here’s Kiffin’s quote about when he got Tennessee to wear black jerseys, a school with a proud tradition, but in fairness, parking cone colored gear, about half USC’s national titles, 0 Heismans, about a .500 winning percentage in bowl games and fans that threaten to kill a coach they apparently never liked anyway for leaving. Kiffin said: “I don’t see that ever happening here. I went through a lot to get that done where I was at last year. There were 100,000 people there, and I think 10,000 of them walked out when we came out of the tunnel.”
That’s pretty definitive.
Yes the Oregons, Oregon States and Arizona States are willing to change up their gear for whatever Nike wants to make them. I get it. It certainly is a recruiting tool because once you go to the NFL, you won’t get to dress like an asshole on the field. This is a young players’ last chance to douche it up on national television because here’s guessing you will be wearing something more subdued on Sundays (unless you go play for Pete in Seattle which looks poised to dip their players in radioactive kiwi jam before games). In the end these schools can change up their gear because tradition is not a selling point. Know why? Any female reader out there can count the cumulative total claimed national titles of these schools on their penis (apologies to any female readers with male genitalia).
USC doesn’t need a gimmick uniform to recruit. We’ve had two uniforms all time in the modern era and both were totally awesome. Both have seen Heismans, Rose Bowls and National Championships over decades and decades. Oregon has a 9-15 record in bowl games. Their answer is this:
Highlighter socks. You can lose on national television and look dumb doing it. Cheers.
Look, I appreciate that people will do whatever they need to recruit. Hell, I appreciate that Chip Kelly eats a lot. It’s awesome. The thing is, ask yourself how many Oregon players have been drafted first round ever. Or even drafted. Then look at USC. Look at how this year, in a year with sanctions and this giant supposed cloud over our program that resulted in a “disappointing” 3rd place finish that UCLA would have turned tricks to achieve, USC took the all time lead in players drafted to the NFL.
That’s how you recruit. You say come here, play on national television, wear cardinal and gold and then go to the NFL. Just like the Big 10 brand of football died a few years ago and the conference had to adapt, believe me, that’s what’s coming from the crazy spread hurry-up clusterfuck offenses Auburn and Oregon run. And even if they continue to work in the college game, it doesn’t work for churning out NFL talent where you need to be able to play pro-style. Cam Newton can get drafted 1st. That’s great. If you heard him talk to Gruden on ESPN about the offense he ran at Auburn, you’d know that playbook is going to be like reading a fucking legal journal in Portuguese to him.
Look at that shit right there. I am sure we won that game (even if it didn’t “count”), but I know we won the tradition battle. Oregon’s neon highlighter jersey is only famous for one thing: being 0-1 in the National Championship.
I remember how when Notre Dame came out in green against USC for the Bush Push game (I was there to see it) their fans were going apeshit about how it gave them some crazy edge and how rare it was they wore it. Then Touchdown Jesus proved he roots for USC. That said, Notre Dame respects tradition and makes subtle changes to their jerseys. I am all for modernizing. I am not for wondering who is on what side of the field.
In the end of the day, if we don’t wear our colors, we aren’t us. I know black is technically our alternate color and that’s fine for our basketball team which I AM SURE YOU ALL CARE ABOUT SO MUCH, but on the football field, no two colors make UCLA shit the bed more than the two we’ve always worn. If we play dress up, they might forget who they are playing. If they beat us, they must do so knowing full well they will never own the series.
Cardinal and Gold. In the endzone. Speak out against these black jerseys. Let’s keep it real as fuck, USC. It’s arrogant to leave the shiny object for those with unrefined palettes. Me? I like it old school. Let USC know. Tweet ’em, email ’em, talk about it on campus. It’s all our legacies.