We Cannot Lose To Clemson.

ESPN SportsNation is doing a cross promo with EA for NCAA 12 in which the nation votes between the traditions of different colleges.  Somehow, our tradition of Traveler entering the field like a coked out monster looking for his next fix and the brutal stabbing of the 50 yard line is only good for a 14 seed in this tournament.

We are against the might Clemson Tigers who pet a fucking rock before each games.  I am not going to look up the lineage of this rock.  I am sure someone courageous did something at some point and now it’s a rallying cry.  In the end, they are petting a rock and when I think of Clemson, I think of helmets being swung as battle axes on field in an Anchorman-style battle with Miami.

I mean just look at screengrabs.  Tell me which is cooler, universe.  Trojan stabbing field with battle sword:

Or man getting inappropriate with a rock:

Okay, I lied.  I wikipedia’d the shit out of “Howard’s Rock” and frankly (no pun intended), this is the dumbest story ever.

In the early 1960s, the rock was given to then head coach Frank Howard by a friend, Samuel Columbus Jones (Clemson Class of 1919).[7] It was presented to Howard by Jones, saying “Here’s a rock from Death Valley, California, to Death Valley, South Carolina.”[1] Howard didn’t think anything else about the rock and it was used as a door stop in his office for several years. In September 1966, while cleaning out his office, Howard noticed the rock and told IPTAY executive director Gene Willimon, “Take this rock and throw it over the fence or out in the ditch…do something with it, but get it out of my office.”[1] Willimon had the rock placed on a pedestal at the top of the east endzone hill that the team ran down to enter the field for games.[2]On September 24, 1966, the first time Clemson players ran by the rock, they beat conference rival Virginia, 40-35.[8] Howard, seizing on the motivational potential of “The Rock”, told his players, “Give me 110% or keep your filthy hands off of my rock.”[2] The team started rubbing the Rock for the first game of 1967, which was a 23-6 waxing of ACC foe Wake Forest. [1]

In 1992, students from the University of South Carolina broke into the stadium and tried to steal the rock. Although they were not successful in the attempt, the vandals did damage the exterior of Howard’s Rock.[citation needed]

It is now a tradition for the Clemson Army ROTC to “protect” the Rock for the 24 hours prior to the Clemson-South Carolina game when held in Death Valley. ROTC cadets keep a steady drum cadence around the rock prior to the game, which can be heard across the campus.

First off, replace the “R”s in that post to “C”s and you will laugh toilet humor style for a long while.  Second, the rock is from California.  I know there is a story behind it, but let’s be honest.  I don’t need a story to watch a Trojan stab the shit out of the field and watch a fierce ass white horse storm the field.  Some schools have some pretty awesome traditions.  Dotting the I at Ohio State is pretty recognizable.  Then again, so is the Stanford Tree.

Just tell me please how we were ever ranked so low compared to a fucking rock petting display?

Well, we’ve really narrowed the gap and can totally pull off the “upset”, just please go out and vote, post this to your wall, do what you can.  Also, you can clear your cache and cookies (sounds sexual) and continue to vote (nice web work ESPN).

CLICK HERE TO VOTE and share this post.



Filed under Rants and Musings

2 responses to “We Cannot Lose To Clemson.

  1. Daniel

    It really is embarrassing that the stupid rock is still ahead

  2. Bruce

    I am a Arizona alum and therefore hate the Trojans with the heat of a thousand suns (though, much love and respect to the arrogant blog, and still only 10% of the hatred I feel toward the Halloween pedophiles), and I voted for the Trojans three times.

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