Frank McCourt is Trying to Kill Harry Potter

The Dodgers’ situation is dire.  There’s no way to fully explain how dire it is.  The team on the field, which is not performing well, is the least of it.  The real horror is the information we continue to find out about Frank McCourt and the way he has been running the team.

Major League Baseball just rejected his awful, poor-boy, 60 cents on the dollar deal with Fox which means he might not make payroll, opening the door for the league to seize the team and sell it.  The worst part of the television deal was that Frank and his wife still packaged in personal money for them.  Even with all of LA hoping they kill each other in a bar fight, they are continuing to do bad business as they threaten to sue MLB, despite running the team into the ground and signing a contract saying they could not sue MLB if they run the team into the ground.

Essentially, what we’re understanding is that Frank and Jamie split the Dodgers up into a bunch of tinier entities.  The Parking Lot is now a company.  The ticket sales are a company.  He’s broken the team into a grip of tiny pieces and he used each of them to borrow money.  The guy basically bought the team on it’s own dime.  It’s such a mess that even Mark Cuban, who has actual money, thinks it might be too big a mess to own.

So basically, Frank pulled a Voldemort.  He turned the Dodgers into a collection of horcruxes.  Literally.  I mean, I have become familiar with the Harry Potter franchise from seeing the films, so maybe I am off compared to the loyal book readers, but Voldemort basically split his soul into a bunch of pieces and in doing so made it super hard to kill him.  Frank McCourt did the exact same thing!  This is real life science fiction!

So now what do we do?  Probably make up nicknames for him.  Like McVoldecourt.  It’s really insane.  Worse, how bad is it when you can’t even show your face at the stadium.  I’m gonna stop here and go to the game tonight, but I want to make it clear that McVoldecourt must be stopped.  We need a goofy wizard who doesn’t choose the hot girl, instead he gives her to his best friend and then gets with his best friend’s sister.

Sounds like Mark Cuban to me.



Filed under Rants and Musings

7 responses to “Frank McCourt is Trying to Kill Harry Potter

  1. Couldn’t have said it better myself. If only we had the Elder Wand to do away with him.

  2. We were there on Wednesday and I know it’s a day game in the middle of the week, but I have never seen the stadium that empty in my 33 years. Sad, I just hope the new owners can fix it.

    • Zack Jerome

      if MLB finds a way to force him to consolidate and package the team, it will be fine. i can imagine frank will get death threats if he continues his I WONT SELL THE PARKING LOT scheme.

  3. This is perfect. And that’s a great nickname.

  4. ldytrjn

    I’d guess there’s a little vampire in him too – would sicking a gleaming patronus in the shape of Jackie Robinson and stabbing him through the heart with a wooden wand work?

  5. Good post. I think it’s sad that Frank Mccourt could screw up a team as established, storied and reputable as the LA Dodgers. They play in such a big market and it’s unbelievable that he could file for bankruptcy. It’s amazing that his divorce has caused not only himself but a huge franchise so much turmoil. The Dodgers obviously aren’t going anywhere but it’s pretty bad that he could let this happen. It’s going to be interesting to see who the Dodgers are sold to because that guy or those guys are going to be awful lucky to get such a storied franchise. Also, you think you could check out my blog cuz I really would love to know what you think.

  6. The Half Blood Prince

    Please make some McVoldecourt tshirts, I’m begging for it.

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