New Year’s Plan for Arrogance and Possible Bear Murder.

Arrogantly, I haven’t posted since Matt returned to USC.  I figured I’d let you enjoy the holidays.  I need some valuable time off myself.  I’ve been out in Arizona and now about to fly back to LA and then heading out to Palm Springs.  Recuperating from a long season of writing and a lot of t-shirts mailed.  In fact, we still have more to send out, so we’ll be getting to that once we’re back in town.

So, what’s next for the blog?  Many of you have already been through an offseason with me, but I recognize we have some new members to Arrogant Nation here, so I’ll let you know what’s probably going down*.

*What’s going down is subject to change at any time for any particular reason including but not limited too I decided to rip a bear’s face off instead of melt your faces with words and letters and sentences.

I’m happy to announce that since this is such a special offseason, I plan to write about USC more than I normally do.  I am going to probably sum up things like signing day, hit on spring practice a bit and certainly when we get back to school (when my student readers should be doing things like “having parties in my name” and “having parties in my name”).

So there’s the good news.  But, like when summer television starts and we get to re-run land, I like to give back to my readers with some additional writing so I don’t get rusty and so you guys all stay fed.

I’ve gotten a TON of email asking if I was covering the Bachelor (one recap a week as usual) as has been my tradition since that fateful day my wife and friends were watching and I ranted on here and found out without question it is the second most popular thing I’ve done on here.

To be honest, still on the fence for an odd reason.  I admit, covering the Bachelor is something I normally think is totally necessary.  I think making fun of so many people at once keeps me sharp for the coaches and players we experience in the fall and my female audience expands wildly when I do this.  As blasphemous as it sounds, just like some of you stop visiting until football season, there are literally thousands of girls that avoid me all football season until ABC’s clusterfuck hosted by the western world’s most closeted drug trafficker Chris Harrison returns.

My favorite group of readers are the dudes who subject themselves to this show just to read the blog.  We’ve exchanged some hilarious emails and I always dug how you bearkillers see how this is target practice before the war.

That said, I still haven’t decided this season because I kind of know the Bachelor.  I’ve certainly met him.  Truth is, I know his sister very well through my wife.  She was a bridesmaid at our wedding.  So, last season when her brother (who is hilarious) was a contestant, I made sure to block for him like I was Kevin Graf.  No that he IS the Bachelor, how do I proceed?  He will surely need to be subjected to some laser fire and bourbon induced rock throwing, but I liked the guy when I met him and his sister is awesome.

So, basically, I might take a season off or I might not.  I’ll think about that when I steal every bottle of champagne in the desert and try to fill the house I rented’s pool with it.

I am going to cover the Dodgers’ ownership saga a little bit only because I am uncomfortably excited about not having to love a team and hate it’s owner.  I’ve met Frank once or twice and you’d never know up close that he was the baseball antichrist.  You’d think he’s just a silver-haired rich guy who probably eats caviar on everything, even his ice cream, and you know the bearfigher respects that.

Only, eff that guy.

Even still, this doesn’t cover a ton of posts so I am going to try to keep you posted on what I am up to, where I am haunting and I’ll ask that maybe you find a way to get me to the bars and dives you are in the beginning of 2012.  The next football season will be a family affair.  In many ways, it is the end of a trilogy of seasons.  I see only one outcome and then my work will be done.

It doesn’t mean I’ll hang up the blog next year after the season ends.  It just means my job will be done.  I’m like college football Batman.  Troy was in trouble and basically I put on some skin-tight clothes, got with Catwoman and took a bunch of people to school.  It’s all fueled by an insatiable need for USC to be strong.  Not to be loved, because as long as people in Oregon keep sleeping with their family members, there will be no convincing them otherwise.  They never submit, regardless of logic, facts or common sense.

I encourage you all to watch the Rose Bowl.  I am not making a prediction, because the smart money is on Oregon.  Hell, if they don’t win it’s sad.  But the thing is, I am still getting emails complaining about THE USC GAME.  If you want to know why you have never won a title, never won a Heisman, won ONE Rose Bowl and have a losing bowl record, look no further than the fact you are still look behind you when the Badgers are coming right for you.

Unlike USC, Oregon loses to Big Ten teams (cough, cough, Ohio State, seriously, we beat them on the road that year with a freshman QB).  They should keep their eyes on right ahead.  I will be rooting for them until they start to blow the game like LaMichael James blew his photo opp on Space Mountain:

At that point, I’ll just light a cigar on their burning wreckage and enjoy the flames while I think about something else.

With that said, I owe you a Matt Barkley post and you shall get one after the New Year rings in.  Happy 2012 and I’ll catch you soon.  Either way, Oregon will have a losing bowl record next we meet.  So there’s that.




Filed under Rants and Musings

18 responses to “New Year’s Plan for Arrogance and Possible Bear Murder.

  1. Chris M

    Awesome bro. Keep it up.

  2. Rod from South OC

    Bachelor is hella ghey…But I can see how mocking those douchelords is great target practice…Keep up the good work and may you have a champagne induced New Years Eve of debauchery!

  3. SoCalJD

    LMAO – I think LaMicheal peed his neon Nike panties . . .
    Does that episode affect his Wonderlich score ?!?

  4. Nordeezy

    So I arrogantly applied to only USC’s MBA program and got in.

    Undergrad 2002-2006: 3 Heisman, 2 National Championships
    Graduate 2012-2015: 2 Heisman, 1 National Championship

    It’s science

  5. Jeremy

    Quick fact check: Oregon has won a Rose Bowl…in 1917.

    Besides that, if you do decide to cover The Bachelor, I look forward to being one of those dudes that suffers through the show just to get your jokes.

  6. El Quixotian

    To be fair, re headerthe even the bleedingist heart prosecutor would never escalate to murder such bear slaughter from mercy killing.

    As for the prospectus for the year (including BCS coda into 2013) we are bullish on baiting our breath…

    The refreshing camaraderie herein is so juxtaposed from the lack of civility we expect to experience in the next year, with elections and the battles in the crumbling metropolis you’re upwind from, we engaged therein will endeavor to keep harmony with the samsuch tone of unabashed excel

  7. El Quixotian

    …same tone of unabashed excellence so deserving of the world around the University of Southern California (didn’t ya just love Barkley’s Gouxesque eschewing of such informalities as Shreveport?).


    (* In accordance with TMB forbearance of sharing certain lyreifics to the outside world,in deference to FAMILY and a certain Canadian band recently censured, we will safeguard the the full secret handshake chant)

  8. Lauren Gardner Dougherty

    Happy New Year! I am loving how Larry Scott’s Bowl season isn’t all that. HA HA HA!

  9. Scott

    Ha ha! LaMichael James looks like a guy that spells his first name with two capital letters!! He is a Beaver killer only. Bears and roller costers for people taller than 5’2″ scare him to death!

  10. My maid went to fucla

    Along with all the arrogance planned, you need to let people know of the one tradition we need to bring back… the Yell Leaders! They made the games so much fun to attend, and are an infinite amount of times better than the useless spirit leaders. There can never be enough arrogance on the field! But the only way to do this is to bring it to a vote within the University, and I cannot think of a person with more influence within the student body to help get this done than you. Here’s a video reminder of their awesomeness!

    • El Quixotian

      Well, the video casts them in a better light than the not so glorious days when the typical yell fish was just a Trojan knight or squire with a sweater, who needed to be shouted down by the band whenever they had mistimed cheers (like Defense while we had the ball…).

      Somewhere along the lines, they were wrested from Bothwell and made to do torture drills at Band Camp, but they had a lot of baggage.

      But the spirit leaders hardly seems an improvement to the stunsters shown….

    • ldytrjn

      I do miss the Yell Leaders. The new Spirit Squad, bless their hearts, just aren’t cutting it during football season (they do well during basketball though). They aren’t engaging to the sections beyond the student section and guys look like they forgot their uniforms and had to pick them up from the bookstore at the last minute. Bless their hearts.

  11. Allison Ratzlaff

    Quack, quack! But I LOVE your Bachelor posts! 🙂

    • Zack Jerome

      thank you. and hey, everyone deserves a rose bowl once a century. 🙂

      • Win4Ever

        Still can’t believe how close that Wisconsin-Oregon game was. USC took care of the B1G in Rose Bowls since ’03. Terrible Wisconsin defense. Oregon will have trouble with an improved Barkley, McNeal, Lee, and healthy Woods.

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