If you can understand the title of this blog then you are both a true fan of this blog and also really good at acronymic behaviour. Two things, acronymic didn’t get a red swiggly line (swiggly did) so turns out that’s a fucking word and also I spelled behaviour all British because the climate here in PDX is a lot more Englandy (also got a swiggly line).
First, an update. I am having a blast here in PDX, both at work and exploring and enjoying rain and seasons and what I must admit is a serious whiskey and pig meat town. It’s hard to have a bad time. After 6 months of rain, perhaps I change my tune, but I’m the bearfighter. Not the fucking rain avoider.
So, I watched the Oregon game from a penthouse at the Governor in downtown PDX, just into SW. There was a balcony and at times I thought about jumping. But I didn’t.
Beyond the fact my primary reaction due to Oregon’s helmets was to want to eat a bagel (didn’t they look like an animated GIF of a knife through cream cheese?), I had to give it to them. That offense did what it wanted. Their wide outs were blocking like pulling linemen and in the end, this game was super arrogant. There were over a billion yards of combined offense and one super BS call on our onside kick. Not sure it would have mattered. It did to the casinos who called the booth and called it off.
There’s not much to dwell on. Again, too many turnovers. Our offense basically took the notion that Oregon played defense at an elite level and took a dump on its face. We played awful D. They played adjacent to awful D. I’m not a schadenfreude kind of guy, but it was pretty obvious Oregon sucks on D, almost as much as we did.
I’m going to leave it alone, basking in the satisfaction that when I go drinking during our game against Notre Dame, all of Oregon will be routing for us and there’s not a damn thing they can do about it. Of course I put my Pete Carroll signed USC helmet on my desk. Yes I am still super handsome. Caviar on the side. I said ON THE SIDE. What the fuck, Pac Northwest? In a year it’ll be the Zack Northwest.
It’s not the year we expected, but that’s not always so bad. I’ve had nights out on the town that ended up different than I expected and they are some of my favorite stories. Call me, we’ll take the convo offline.
To weigh in quickly, the acts of our student manager who deflated the balls in the first half to provide an advantage for our team, that was some bullshit and as much as I am for Trojans in the workforce, homie needed to get fired. That said, the argument that somehow Oregon pulled away because we used regular balls in the second half is BS. Oregon pulled away because our defense could not stop them at all at any point and frankly, that isn’t all on our players.
It’s an ugly situation, I’m leaving it at that.
Somehow, if we win out, the Pac 12 Championship still looks good. I’d love another shot at Oregon just to mess shit up, fuck around, maybe go to a phantom Rose Bowl. Remember, it’s always sunny on Trousdale. Not so much in PDX. Leave me alone. I look rad in rain gear. Follow me on instagram @lostangelesblog. I’ll prove it.
The truth is, we got ASU this weekend and basically, they were part of what made our season last year less than perfect. They are experimenting with all kinds of uniforms, suffering from a really hot student body and we’re like a big fucking bear with big fucking claws and we’re trying to kill the rabbit.
Our next two games are really it. I can’t ignore the amount of calls for Kiffin to be fired, it’s a totally valid thought, but so is the thought about his ability to recruit during sanctions, which are still not over. For me, I want a new O coordinator to take that responsibility and the defense needs to be addressed.
But we still have these 2 Pac 12 games and a chance to get to the title game. I want to stay concise today, I want to avoid a long ASU preview. You guys have heard all my Tempe trashing, the one-word night clubs, the Jersey Shore-ish club promotors and the distraction of what is a ridiculously hot student body. You guys have also heard that they are scoring something like 37 points a game and that they have a top 25 offense.
Every season has a breaking point and let’s keep it real as the Loch Ness Monster. This is that game. If this game doesn’t go well, the season becomes simple. It’s just about beating our rivals. Don’t get me wrong. Those two days are perfect Saturdays no matter what. It is a total pleasure to have teams you just simply need to beat no matter what, regardless of record. The thing is, we need this game to keep any aspirations alive and I hope we’re up to it.
That said, as I’ve had to more than I want to, I am hear to remind you that being a member of Arrogant Nation has few rules. That isn’t to say there are no rules. In fact, there are two.
- When you win, you celebrate your ass off.
- When you lose, you celebrate your ass off because you will probably win next weekend.
Any additional thinking beyond that is just raking your face over a cheese grater for decisions you won’t be involved in. We are the fans and we can never be fair weather.
Fuck the Sun Devils. Fuck the negativity. Enjoy some fucking football for the Bearfighter.
As usual, their team will be distracted by the hotness of both student bodies just a little bit more than we will. Why this is is a complicated mathematical formula proving why our team is less distracted by hotness and it involves the fact Phoenix is one zone of hot people surrounded by desert whereas our team has to deal with hotness as far north as Santa Barbara and as far south as San Diego. We’re more immune. It’s worth a ten spot.
KIFFIN OUTFIT PREDICTION
Covered in tomatoes given the emails I am getting. I’ll be wearing a rain jacket.
2 PT CONVERSIONS
Let’s be real. With so many Kiffin critics right now, he’s going to do the opposite of logic and try like 7 of these. And we’ll love him for it.
KYLE NEGRETE PREDATOR DRONES
While USC lost to Oregon, Kyle’s mustache beat both teams, the crowd and the rush hour traffic.
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