UCLA Needs to Grow a Pair. Or Two.

I admit that I have been disappointed during the Mora era at UCLA to find a competent team that rarely created news fodder.  They have a better record than USC (for now), are ranked higher than USC is (for now) and Mora has eliminated the whiner mentality that fostered “traditions” like ditching your final practice of the season if you are a senior, even if you have a bowl game.

I admit, they felt like a vastly different team than the one that backed into the Pac 12 Title game, got embarrassed, then petitioned the NCAA to be tied for the worst team to ever play in a bowl game only to lose it and own the dubious distinction of “worst team every to play in a bowl game” outright.

Frankly, after the ugly Mora comments about “students getting shot” at USC, I’ll admit he ran a tight ship.

Until this week when the master thesis of the Bearfighter was proven true:  UCLA has whiner embedded in their DNA.

Bruins Nation, who I will not even link to because they have gotten enough traffic this week, has put out one of the whiniest requests to prevent our drum major from stabbing the 50 yard line before our game at the Rose Bowl because stabbing their logo makes them sad.

Possibly in response, UCLA has informed USC that if our drum major stabs the fifty yard line as he does everywhere, every game, including OUR OWN LOGO at home games, our band, the greatest in the world and frankly a treat for Bruin fans used to their 8-clap and fight song more fit for a carousel than a football game, will not be able to perform at halftime.

The choice is apparently ours.

Beyond the stupidity of the Bruin blog suggesting a Teague/Owens moment without realizing they are essentially asking a football player to tackle a student (that will fly well in court), the real stupidity is that if UCLA’s tradition was stabbing the fifty yard line, I’d welcome it and use it to fuel another 50-0 drubbing.

Where were you all these years, UCLA?  You start 8-2 and suddenly you want to start poking your older brother in the ribs?  You are the definition of what a whining, winless culture does to a fan base and the fact your school backed you up on this should make any college football fan sick.

Some of the coolest moments ever are when opposing bands do their thing. Stanford does everything short of have explosive diarrhea on our logo, who cares.  Settle it on the field (and we’ve lost to them for about five years now, you don’t see me whining).  Notre Dame’s fight song makes me want to rub a cheese grater on my junk every time I hear it (except when I am watching Rudy), but I LOVE that I get to see them do it.

You wore crappy white jerseys last year, you are messing with your colors again.  I get it. It’s trying to abandon a culture of losing that has rendered the football program a joke since they were parking in handicapped spaces.  All that makes sense…

Until you start whining about the other team stabbing your logo.  Loser mentality.  You can do an 8-clap and ring around the rosie by Tommy Trojan, I don’t care a little bit.  I’ll take it out on you on the field.

Let me ask you a question, UCLA “nation”.  Do you deserve the right to command a team that beat you 50-0 to do anything?  How about you can start making demands when you score.  I demand you guys start acting like people who watch football.

What you are doing is like if in Lord of the Rings when the orcs are about to storm the castle, some elf (that’s you, Bruin) calls out meekly “no head shots, kay?  no swords to the face?  we can agree on that right?”

You are owning the role of biggest whiner culture in the Pac 12.  You could turn me into an Oregon fan with this because somehow I know those guys wouldn’t even be thinking about this.  They definitely wouldn’t be doing anything to piss off a team that literally beat them 50-0 this year.

fight on, buddy

This goes beyond locker room material.  You’ve pissed off the band.  The fans.  The alumni and probably anyone else that actually loves college football things like “tradition” and “competition”.  People who understand these concepts want the opponent in all their glory, putting it all on the field from offensive traditions to classic uniforms and then they want to beat the shit out of that team on the field.

I’m sorry.  You don’t deserve to be our rival any more.  Oregon gets to be our Pac 12 rival.  Notre Dame, as myopic as they are, they are our only true rival who respects tradition and rivalries.

You are just a bunch of whining children who don’t understand the concept that we aren’t stabbing your logo, we stab the fifty yard line.  At Notre Dame, there’s no logo to stab.  At home, we stab the field as well.  Maybe question the fact you graffiti your field 200 gallons of baby blue paint.  Maybe leave us some green to stab.

We’re sorry the Pac 12 promo video hurt your feelings.  Probably not more than losing 50-0 did, which we will never ever do.  Ever.

I implore you UCLA, do the football thing.  Repeal your idiotic claim to have pride.  Pride is earned on the field, not in prohibiting tradition.  Do whatever you want to our field next year.  Anything.  All I’ll be counting is the game.  Don’t ruin our rivalry any more than losing 50-0 did.  Act like winners.  If this was basketball, you’d understand.

Be tougher.  Be cooler.  Respect the game.  Maybe instead of an old fart waving a white towel (seriously, waving a WHITE TOWEL), do something bad ass that we would see and think “oh man, let’s get these guys”.  Make no mistake, we’d let you do it.

And advice from the Bearfighter… Stab the fucking field anyway.  If that means no playing at halftime, pardon my French, but fuck you.  You don’t get to hear us play.  We’re stabbing the field and you can try and pay us back on the field.  If you do, congrats.  It will be the first honorable, non-child-hissy-fit action we’ve seen all week.

Stab the field, screw playing at halftime and let the football teams play.

The Bearfighter has spoken.  Spread the word.  Just because they want to be 11 year olds doesn’t mean we need to get sucked into their universe.  Regardless, I hope the team is as pumped up to punish them as I am.  Even the fact they asked is wrong.



Because I forgot, on the subject of asking us not to play TUSK because we sing UCLA sucks, we sing that when we aren’t playing you and if the band can’t play it, I suggest our fans in attendance just start playing it themselves.

If I were a reasonable Bruin fan, I’d burn my diploma because it’s now a tattoo that says “whining”.







Filed under Rants and Musings

120 responses to “UCLA Needs to Grow a Pair. Or Two.

  1. Kristin

    As always, a voice of reason. They’ve, for lack of a better term, poked a sleeping bear with this issue. Trojan nation is PISSED and shit’s going down on Saturday. FTFO

  2. Uncle Pete took one for the team by wearing home Uni’s in favor of losing a timeout and protecting Tradition.

    Band, stab the field … and then we party in the stands with out own personal halftime show. Put your instruments and dance with us in the grandstands and everything.

  3. Joe Trojan

    Agree with Bearfighter here. Stab their field, stab their Rose Bowl, stab their season record. Optional: Band plays as the game is ending and we’re winning.

    Hopefully this will teach them to man the f up to respect and enjoy the damn game.

    • Carlos

      Right, so it’s disrespectful to not want to be disrespected in your own house? Interesting. Not entitled at all. BTW….http://articles.latimes.com/2012/aug/30/sports/la-sp-sn-usc-lane-kiffin-20120830. Any thoughts on why U$Cheat discontinued this tradition?

      • Zack Jerome

        That is a football decision. I don’t care one way or the other. WHat UCLA is doing is sanctioning a fucking marching band. I would argue the band leader stabbing the field like he does everywhere including at home isn’t disrespecting anything. It’s a 41 year old tradition that only UCLA this week cried about. If that’s what you want to defend, by all means. Differentiator. Nothing could disrespect your program more than losing 50-0, which will never come off the books regardless of outcome. Also, you’d need to win for 2 decades straight to even make the lifetime series close.

  4. KLEE

    i love you, man.

  5. I say everyone on the TMB (and Song Girls) take a sword and all stab the field in unison. They didn’t say the TMB can’t, just the drum major.

  6. W

    Also agree – stab the field and screw the halftime show.

  7. This is so true. Had they some sort of band-entry tradition, they could do whatever they wanted to our logo. We welcome that sort of thing — tradition.

    And as for the symbolism… who cares? Stanford’s much more insulting, and yet,we can laugh at it (though not as much as when Stanford, when playing ND, made light of the irish potato famine and then riverdanced™).

  8. TrojanDynasty

    Stab the field, then stab their season, then stab their band’s half time show by playing over it from the stands, then “stab” their girlfriends after.

  9. Lawler

    We’ll play at the end regardless of the outcome. This is almost as pathetic as Stanford fans waiting until after the game to talk shit.

  10. Thank you, sir, from a very grateful TMB alumnus.

  11. GouldDornsife

    I’ll be in the USC Away Student Section on Saturday and you can bet I’ll be singing Tusk at halftime after we have been “banned” from playing at halftime… It’s getting stabbed… Time to bring the arrogance to USC’s winter home… FTFO

  12. Gen

    My solution: Don’t stab the field pregame, stab it half time and play nothing but Tusk in the second half

  13. Someone should remind those @$$holes that the Rose Bowl is more “home” to USC than FUCLA is. It’s just a place where UCLA plays home games but it’s where USC makes its mark on history.

  14. Chris

    halftime should just be Tusk on a loop

  15. Eric S.

    So they said no to the drum major, what about the rest of TMB? Where could we source 300 swords?

  16. Agree with @slindesigns. Everyone, stab the field! Bartner. Water boys & girls. Assistant coaches. Spirit squads. Whoever gets to be on the field. Stab it.

    Oh and on Tusk @gridirongoddess suggests that people to put TMB’s Tusk on their phones and bring portable speakers. Can’t stop the signal!


  18. Dennis Bruin

    First of all, I am a Bruin and I don’t always agree with you, but you are a funny and fresh perspective. While I initially jumped on board to prevent the drum major from stabbing the field, I now realize its a dumb request to make.

    If we (UCLA) really want to do something about it, we can just beat y’all on the field and make Tommy Trojan seem silly. I think over-sensitivity that comes from being pummeled year after year for the past decade by SC is to blame.

    BUT Here’s to a good rivalry game that for the first time in years (decades?) has 2 ranked teams and has PAC-12 implications.


    • Zack Jerome

      Dennis, I respect you very much for coming here and respecting tradition. Voltaire, right? I’d defend to the death your right to say it… I may hate UCLA traditions, but I’d never ban an 8 clap or U$C signs. Do your thing, let’s football it up.

      Good luck Saturday.

  19. Marls

    UCLA is being that one kid you always played tag with. You know the one that would always call a damn timeout when he was it, because he was too slow catch anyone? Yeah that’s you UCLA. Who wants to play with someone like that? You’re so right bearfighter. We now have to consider those nerds at Stanford and cross dressers at Oregon actual rivals, and they’ve only been relevant to us the past couple years. We never did this shit to you UCLA. You can still call us RIVALS. The audacity, I tell ya. 12 years of getting your ass beat should be enough for anyone to see the cardinal red and gold light.

  20. frank delarosa

    fucking bad ass write up Fight on

  21. Charles

    As a Bruin fan I want to rip my eyes out every time that sword is plunged into our turf. Same goes for my ears and TUSK. That’s the point, its a rivalry game.

    So WTF is going on here? Let’s just wear blue (not white) and settle it on the field. This is embarrassing.

  22. prince harry


  23. eli

    USC is more like UCLA’s step-father, not ‘older brother’

  24. “Anything I want to do I get to do”

    -USC and the douchebags who root for them

    Fuck the drum major and that bullshit tradition. Remember what happened when TO came out to shit on the Cowboys star? He got his ass knocked out. If I was UCLA I’d do the same. Saying “we’re dickheads everywhere we go, not just to you guys” is the stupidest defense. Fuck USC

    • Zack Jerome

      so the seminole is a dickhead for spearing the field? are your defensive players dickheads for tackling our players? grow a pair.

      • Josh

        Seminoles only throw the spear at home games. Completely disrespectful to do that at another’s home field. That is why they instead take pieces of the field home with them on big road games.

      • Zack Jerome

        you are the first school to petition this from happening and your mascot has a sister/wife with a bow on her head. i think you are in that rarified “total whiner” air. but by all means keep making awesome points for my readers to laugh at.

    • You are a classy and upstanding representative of your alma mater.

    • Daniel

      The hypocrisy coming from Westwood is hysterical. Stabbing the field is disrespectful, but suggesting our drum major “get his ass knocked out” and calling us “douchebags” and “dickheads” is not? Absolutely brilliant logic.

      Look in the fucking mirror before you start talking about disrespect. Your complete lack of respect for tradition, competition and this rivalry far more egregious than our drum major stabbing the 50 yard line.

    • My maid went to fucla

      If i remember correctly, when TO did that, it upset everyone in the stadium. But after the cowboys scored, one if their players ran to the 50 and did the same, as in reclaiming it. If fucla wants our respect, they should fight for it on the field, instead of whining. As a TMB alum, i hope the drum major stabs the field multiple times then spits on the logo, then stabs it again.

    • Joshua

      You’re an idiot. Get the point.. it has nothing to do with UCLA. The fact that you make it about you… is well… stinks of insecurity.

    • RobR

      Is that the espn college football editor?

  25. El Quixotian

    They tried to ban Traveler too, when they first started renting in Pasadena #BandTakeTheField

  26. TrojAnnie

    Exactly!! Well said, Bear Fighter. FTFO!!

  27. Joe Trojan

    Don’t forget Ohio State’s dotting of the ‘i.’ Some people just simply don’t understand tradition.

  28. How about a video commemorating 45 stabs? Here’s to 46.

  29. Muse

    Well said as always, as a band member I really appreciate your quick response to UCLA’s pathetic attempt to appear to suck less.

    One concern though, a lot of people assume that whether we stab the field or not is up to the band. Truth is, it’s probably up to our Athletic Department and both our Drum Major and Dr. Bartner’s hands would be tied on this. Believe me, every band member would stab that field with the greatest pleasure, if we’re allowed to do so.

    So, as the most influential alum blogger and the Bearfighter, you would be one of the few people who might actually be heard by the Athletic Department. Please use your Bearfighter power and take this to them! The band has stood behind the team and the university throughout the years, probably nobody understands this better than you do, and now it’s time for the Athletic Department to have the band’s back. Stop ucla’s whiny bullshit Bearfighter!

  30. MikeD

    “without realizing they are essentially asking a football player to tackle a student ” That’s what college football players do, by the way… tackle students. They’re all students… except, maybe if they’re paid…, oh…wait…USC… never mind.

  31. Get A Life and stop whining over nothing

    whiniest blog post ever. Who cares? Just go play football.

  32. The saddest part about this whole thing is that it happened too near the game to make a funny t-shirt.

  33. Pingback: Bruins Cut USC Tradition from Saturday's Game | ATVN

  34. The Rose Bowl

    While I agree with the premise of this article,and think it should be let happen- I also hope UCLA beats the crap out of you arrogant SC fans needing a good humbling.

    I grew up in the 90’s where UCLA dominated SC- and I hope after a decade of futility we will get back to that norm.

    Should be a high scoring game and may the best team that day win.

  35. TrojanDynasty

    Wow, so we caved in, eh? Shameful day.

  36. http://www.usctrojans.com/blog/ucla_press_release1.pdf

    College football is about tradition. When one tradition falls, the rest will follow suit.

  37. Cameron

    An article whining about a team that is whining…ironic

    • Zack Jerome

      calling someone out isn’t whining. if you knew the difference, perhaps your school wouldn’t be whining in the first place. this is, to be blunt, calling you out for being tools. I don’t care that you did it, I’m just calling you out for looking pathetic.

  38. Carlos

    Typical Trogans, complain about having to follow the rules in somebody else’s house

    • Zack Jerome

      eh, this is the only time UCLA in 41 years of our tradition petitioned their AD. you’re in that rarified petition the NCAA to be the only 6-8 bowl team ever territory. congrats, winner.

  39. This goes back to that whole thing of storming the field and looking like (or at least acting like) you’ve been there before.

    Sobbing because something innocuous has offended your delicate sensibilities isn’t exactly becoming of anyone used to winning. In fact, it reinforces a loser mentality.

    Perhaps UCLA might consider focusing less on how to protect its field and more on how to actually win on said field.

  40. Brujan

    I’m both a Trojan and Bruin…and I am totally for UCLA trying this tactic. Isnt the point to irritate the F@#$ out of one another leading up to the game and at the game? its why USC plays our song so much. It’s why we all try to defile the other’s statues…to get under the nerves of the other. So, isnt that what UCLA is doing? Becuase it seems to have worked. Especially on you buddy. Instead of “whining” right back (which is what you’re doing) you should grow some balls yourself and devise some sort of master plan of sticking it to the Bruins for suggesting this (and clearly getting under your skin). I think someone’s suggestion above is awesome, they should not do it at the begining of the game, but do it at half time after they play? or, screw the halftime performance, all the players should run out with swords and stab the field.

    But to bitch and whine about it on a blog seems pretty pathetic dude. And it appears to me that the Bruins have done exactly what they wanted..pissed off the Trojans. Now…use all that aggression and take it out on them on the field.

    • Zack Jerome

      Confused by your logic. Also no one is a bruin and a Trojan. Period. That’s something a bruin would say.

      • DaBears

        “confused” is a normal response from a Trojan. Noone is? What would you call someone who went to both schools? Granted I’m sure they’d normally call themselves a Bruin if given the choice…but they could still be considered both. but… you’re confused. I get it.

        Anyway, seems the poster was right… this really irritated the Trojans. Well done UCLA.

      • Zack Jerome

        A trojan is a trojan even when he goes to Anderson business school. Only a Bruin claiming to be neutral for the sake of trying to make a cogent point on a blog that pissed him off would claim to be both. A bruin/trojan is a unicorn.

  41. jp

    I have to assume (hope) that Bruin Nation is not representative of the greater UCLA fan base given how pathetic it is compared to every other SB Nation blog in our conference / the universe.

    I wish I had something witty to say…but I don’t… what a bunch of f—cking pussies. We’re talking about a mascot…a mascot…better start a movement now to make sure the Cardinal Tree doesn’t look at you with those crazy eyes. What a total joke you’re making of a respected university. You are what’s wrong with the UCLA program. Just know that.

  42. Nik Cook

    As a UCLA student, this is the first I’ve heard of the situation. To someone above me, I’m pretty sure that if the entire band stabbed the field, that might render it incapable of being played upon safely, and I’m sure no one would be happy about that (from either side).

    At first, the article pissed me off (don’t like being told to burn my diploma). But I saw the point being made and when all is said done, I agree, talk on the field, there’s all kinds of hype for the team this year, so let’s talk on the field.

  43. IC

    SO is UCLA going to ask Colorado to not run the buffalo and ask Oregon to put some damn pants on the Duck? Serious questions…

  44. Pingback: Trojans marching band to modify pregame ritual at UCLA’s request « Sports Greatest Rivalries

  45. Daddo

    Let’s stab their stupid gummy bear mascot instead!!

  46. Sandi

    Zack, what UCLA has done is UMBRAGEOUS. Thank you for calling them out. We will celebrate with a cake shaped like a football field and invite all Trojans to stop by and stab the “field.” If our Drum Major cant do it, we will! Fight on and beat the bRuins.

  47. Morrigoon

    They don’t want us stabbing the *50* because it brings up bad memories. Next time we’ll have to remember to lube up so they aren’t still butt-hurt a year later.

    In other news, anyone know where I can get my hands on a red inflatable sword? And some baby blue astroturf?

    So… will “Sellout” be added to the pregame setlist in place of the stabbing? This is seriously weak.

  48. Michael

    I’ve read this like 12 times since you posted it. Every time I read this, it’s like gnawing raw bear meat and listening to a mash up of Tusk and Seven Nation Army on Bose speakers in a room full of assault weapons and meth. I’ve never been this fired up for a football game since I learned what the word “football” meant. I’m going to be at the Rose Bowl on Sat, in a tailgate of bRuins and believe me I plan on echoing these exact sentiments. I’m also going to bring my own sword and just stab blue things indiscriminately. Chairs, signs, fans, whatever. When you have a fan base so used to winning, booze, more winning, and being assholes…. it’s never wise to upset us.

    Thank you for giving me the appropriate fire in my belly, and FTFO!!!

  49. Carlos


    Ya, traditions are so important to the U$Cheat Trogans…..so long as it’s THEIR traditions

    • Zack Jerome

      how is that a tradition? lock us out of the rose bowl, by all means. The fans of the game really live for “stadium walk throughs”. You guys are amazing.

  50. Beans

    UCLA’s whole “tradition” is based on us. It has never been about school pride, it is trying to be better than USC and complain when we do something better.
    It’s even written into their fight song.

    “…Bruins roam the hills of Westwood,
    By the blue Pacific shore;
    And when they chance to see a man from USC,
    Ev’ry Bruin starts to roar….”

  51. Laura

    This brings ucla to a new low. I have lost what little respect I might have had for them. And I hope that we stab the field in lieu of the letter that said we wouldn’t… arrogance.

  52. Goddamn, does it feel good to get the fusc fans all riled up. To the point where someone who tries too damn hard to sound conversational in his tone to try and start a campaign to end the rivalry, as if somehow that’ll work? It’s gorgeous.

    It’s our house, and your tradition. Why the fuck would we preserve your tradition? We don’t give a shit about it, and we won’t allow it. You want to do that elsewhere, that’s cool, but people are sick of it, even if it’s after 41 years. The fact is, you assholes aren’t stabbin’ the field on Saturday, and that’s that.

    • Zack Jerome

      you guys don’t even understand what you are doing. just score this year. your house is our house (24 rose bowls).

    • This is the part where you justify your whiny request to remove the clip of your field being stabbed from the Pac-12 commercial.

    • OXYnUSC

      What a joke. I hope you alienate even more alumni with this. You already ruined what could have been a legit blog for UCLA, now you’re moving onto ruining the rivalry. The only thing you’re after is attention and hearing the sound of your own whiny voice. You brought stabbing the field to new levels….before it was just routine to many fans, now its an event. I do thank you for that.

      “Why the fuck would we preserve your tradition?” That’s what rivalries are built on you sensitive bitch. You do yours, we do ours. That’s how sports work. And the winner gets to talk shit.

      All you’ve done is take attention away from the most important part of this week….the game….and misrepresent the many legit Bruins out there by coming off as a pouty little dick.

      Man the fuck up. Drink a beer, eat a steak, do something….but knock this pansy shit off.

      • Pouty little dick? Please.

        Personally? I’m not offended by it, but because other UCLA fans are, and because this is our house — yo, USC still has a losing record against us in the Rose Bowl — you better do what we tell you, and guess what the USC Marching Band did? They complied, like the subordinates they are.

        Rivalries aren’t made so your rivals can preserve your tradition. Rivalry is a mind-game and guess what? You’re losing. (See: Comments on this blog, this whiny post I’m commenting on right now.)

        You want to come and deface our sign? Cool, we get to fuck up one of your traditions. Gotcha, motherfuckers.

        I love this, because UCLA football is where USC traditions go to die. I love seeing USC fans getting riled up and I love seeing all your silly traditions go up in flames, ending with us. You assholes know you’re afraid because Cal and other places are going to step the fuck up and say something. It feels good that we’re going to destroy your traditions, one toy sword at a time.

        Your blood’s boiling, isn’t it? See you Saturday.

      • Zack Jerome

        yeah, it’ll totally end. until next week when we do it again.

  53. Trojan for the Win

    UCLA sucks. Point blank period. Your argument would make sense say… 40 years ago, but now all of the sudden you want to try and make one? Please. As I said, UCLA sucks… and it sucks to suck. 50-0, 24 Rose Bowls in “your house”, BAM! If you really wanted to defend your “logo”… win the conference and PLAY IN THE ROSE BOWL GAME for once. Until then, stfu and to all Trojans – FTFO!

    • Trojan for the Win

      All I know is… for the next 48 hours the only lyrics running through my head will be “UCLA SUCKS” along to the tune of Tusk. I know I’ll be in the endzone Saturday dancing my U$C A$$ off to it! FIGHT ON TROJANS!

  54. Daniel

    #9 and #2 should just go stab the middle of the field with the ball after every TD, we’ll take the taunting/unsportsmanlike penalty yards and still win

  55. jake

    most over hyped team in the nation losses again.

    maybe next year you can keep up the “unfinished business” moto

  56. Barbara

    38 UCLA – 28 USC..now who needs to grow a pair? Out-witted, out-classed and out-played. Go Bruins!

  57. JJ

    Watching the Trojan “faithful” and the look on their faces as they filed out of the Rose bowl was beyond enjoyable. Have fun with “myopic” Notre Dame. Good Luck with Barkley’s shoulder and Wettik too. Anthony Barr fucked you, and I’m good with that.

  58. Bruins are the best!!!

    Wow, I love how all the comments end before the game started. Yep, about right, because you guys SUCK!! It’s hard to deal with being so lame that you had to take time out of your day to write about us because obvious you couldn’t write anything positive about USC. Hahahahahahahah!! Stuff like this is the true nature of a USC fan. Continue writing about us because it makes it all that much better when we WIN!!!

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